Childhood was tough for someone who came from a broken family. I saw the world as a cruel place to live in; a battleground I didn’t see myself winning even a single war. The household was really toxic and I was surrounded by energy vampires. Soon, I too, became one of them, sucking the life out of people, dragging them to the miserable spot where I was. I thought it was the solution. I thought if I’d be miserable, people who loved me, should feel the same way, too.
I was wrong, but I was too young to even realize it by that time.
When I graduated high school with more awards than the salutatorian despite me not having any honors, I felt ashamed. I was ashamed and focused on not being on top that I ignored the amazing recognitions given to me. That shame I felt slowly turned into rage, and that rage fueled me to develop a bigger pride.
I moved to Baguio and took up the course I didn’t even like just for the sake of acceptance and the pride I developed from my so-called “failure”. I thought I’d finally win in life, but the universe decided to give me lessons instead. Lessons I used to see as punishments from God.
Depression hit me when I got my first failed grades. I stopped coming to class and started associating myself with people whom I thought would give me what I was lacking in life. My whole world changed and bad things continued to happen. The rest was history.
I thought life was over when failures hit me all at once. I was right. Life was over.
My old life. The life fueled by rage, pride, and negativity.
When I embarked on a new journey, leaving behind everything holding me back, realization like this started hitting me. I realized that I’ve been trying to control my life for so long while embodying toxic behaviours. As I looked at the trees while meditating, I realized that pollution doesn’t help trees grow. It’s the Sun, the ground, and the rain that keep these trees alive.
What trees do is grow their roots, bury it deep in the ground to help them stand firmly no matter how strong storms can be. That’s what trees do. It builds its foundation and then it lets the universe provide the things that will help it grow.
It co-creates its life with the universe just like us.
As a spiritual being in a mortal body, I realized that just like trees, it’s not the negative thoughts nor the toxic behaviours that build me stronger. Just like trees, we have to build our own roots, our own foundations. The only thing we can control in this world is ourselves—our thoughts, our emotions, and our behaviours towards something—and that’s enough.
When we start understanding that just like trees, the universe provides the things we need in order to grow more, reality starts to shift in our favor. We start turning Carbon Dioxide (the negativity we absorb from the outside world) into Oxygen (the positive energy we radiate).
The universe doesn’t punish you. The universe loves you and it wants nothing but the best for you. The question is, are you even appreciating the things it already provided or you’re too busy lashing out because of all the problems you’re going through?
Thank goodness trees don’t speak or else we’ll surely hear them screaming every single day because of all the pollution. Imagine being a tree and start complaining about all the poison in the air and the weeds that grow around you?
That’s the thing. Trees don’t complain. They just grow.
Just like trees, we have to build our own foundations. Foundations that will help us survive storms and other catastrophes that will come our way. When we start appreciating what we already have and believe that we deserve whatever we’re asking for, that’s when the shift happens.
It’s time to change the game.
Just like trees, grow and breathe out positivity.
House of Sol 